The Waiting Game

Last November I went to Time Out for Women for the first time. It was such a wonderful weekend, and not just because I got to sprawl in a King size bed all to myself...although that was a MAJOR perk.   I had made some new friends and enjoyed every minute of the musical talent and speakers.

But it was the very last speaker on the last day who was meant for me. Her message answered so many questions that I didn't realize I was asking. Heavenly Father had heard my pleas and loving gave me my answer.

Laural Christenson spoke about those times of waiting that we all have in life. She went on to list 4 things that will help, I guess you could say, during these times of waiting:

1. Feel Your Feet...sometimes it feels like we are going nowhere, but we are moving...we need to "Be Where Our Feet Are"...why worry about a future we don't know...put our focus on the present...Mormon 5:23, "Know ye not that ye are in the hands of God?"
2. Trust The Math...Doctrine & Covenants 82:10, "I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise."...He is bound when we obey...obedience in = blessings out...stop worrying about what you can't control.
3. Live As If...the Lord's time frame for you has been in place and still is...there is an end-date to your waiting...the Lord isn't worried.
4. God Waits, Too...fervent prayer can avail much!...am I ready? is i really the Lord's will? am I ready to receive? what if God has something better?....He's not wasting our time...PRAY! DREAM! BELIEVE! (Jeffrey R. Holland "Terror, Triumph, and a Wedding Feast")

I'm sure I didn't capture completely what was said and those are just some of my notes that I had taken, so I apologize for being all over the place.

I can list a multitude of things that I've been waiting for: an actual home with a backyard--no more apartment living; 500 pounds (ok, not really that much) to drop off this body of mine; student loans to be paid off; cars to be paid off; no more money worries.

But at the top of my "Waiting For" list is the hopes of another child. It's been about 18 months now, so I have been recalling this talk almost daily. 

I have tried hard to not focus on the fact that my age is creeping up and my belly is not pregnant. I try to focus on the present, what is here and now.

Being a part of the Relief Society Presidency I am able to serve the sisters in my ward on a daily basis. I feel as if I am serving more than I used to, but that could be that I am just more aware of the sisters than I used to be. Therefore, my focus is no longer on my own plight, but on the heartaches and struggles and victories that are on the faces of these women that are absolutely wonderful Women of God.

Little Man is sprouting up like CRAZY and I've finally realized that he is one lucky boy to have all of this devoted time from me--no sharing with a new baby. And I'm one lucky momma to be able to spend quality time with him and see all of his "firsts" first.

The one point that's has been getting me is "God Waits, Too." Hmmmm....I know that I have been going about asking for a child all wrong. I think that God is waiting for me to change something about me or something about the way I am asking.

I feel a bit like Elastigirl from The Incredibles, stretching and stretching--all parts of me. I know that God will keep pulling until He knows I'm finally in that place He knows I need to be, and when I snap! back in place I will be a whole new spiritual me....I won't look the same. And that's exactly how I want it.

So, until then, I continue to play The Waiting Game. I don't know what the score is at the moment, but just know at the end there will be two winners: the Lord and me.